” firefly, could you shine your light? now i know your ways ‘cause they’re just like mine “
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hello, my name is lindsey. my blog is mainly about how my life is changing with my move across the country and my fresh start. if you actually read what i write i would just like to say thank you <3 it means a lot.
hello, my name is lindsey. my blog is mainly about how my life is changing with my move across the country and my fresh start. if you actually read what i write i would just like to say thank you <3 it means a lot.
well this is something that i really do not like talking about. i figure the only way i can really move on is to accept it. this is my brother, tyler. he was just 17 when he was in a horrible car accident four months ago today. we were really close and he wasn’t just a brother to me, he was my best friend. i’ve always been the type of girl who likes playing sports and watching football so we never had any problems getting along. i gave him advice about girls and taught him how to drive. a week before the accident we spent hours looking for his tux for homecoming and an anniversary gift for his girlfriend. a couple days after homecoming he was driving home from his friend’s house and two young kids were walking on the side of the road. it was around 6 and these kids should not have been on the road at all. one of them dropped something in the road and went to get it while my brother was driving right toward him. my brother swerved on the other side of the road to avoid hitting the little boy. he had a collision with a truck as he switched lanes. the driver of the truck only suffered minor injuries but my brother was rushed into intensive care. he was alive in the hospital for three days and i visited him for hours every single day. he wasn’t awake any of the time he was there but i still would talk and sing to him. one night i decided to go home to rest and that’s when i got a call from my dad. he told me to meet me him at the house and to stay calm. i was shaking the whole way there and almost got into an accident myself. when i got to the house he told me that tyler had passed away. it didn’t feel real to me at first. i couldn’t grasp that someone so young died for doing the right thing. he saved that little boys life by losing his own. i didn’t understand how a good person dies yet there are horrible people in this world completely healthy. i was like a zombie for the next couple of weeks after this but my boyfriend, friends, and family were there for me whenever i needed them. my boyfriend would stay up with my late into the night and tell me everything will be okay. i would have really bad dreams and he would wake up with me to calm me down. my family came over everyday just to remind me that they would always be there. now my mom is in the hospital with cancer and i feel like i’ll never recover if she leaves me. i can barley sleep anymore. i keep having this horrible feeling that i’ll have a call from my dad telling me to meet him at the house.
larrylovesmeth-deactivated20101 asked: I think you should see this:
http://meteorshowr.tumblr.com/post/1129533132/you-are-beautiful
Stay beautiful<3
thank youu <3
flashback.
i’m still at my father’s house (i’ll explain why later). i was sitting at the office studying for anatomy and i overheard my father with my little sister in the kitchen. she is six years old and in the first grade. she is having trouble with writing words because she gets very excited and anxious which results in her spelling the words wrong and writing sloppy. i heard him say “you can’t do anything right, you’re stupid.” “no one will ever like you.” when i heard him say these things, i flashed back to when i was her age. i was that same little girl sitting at the kitchen table. i remember choking back tears when my father would put me down and call me stupid. i feel bad because she has to go through the same thing but i know in the end it will make her stronger. it made me stronger because i’m determined to make something of myself. i’m determined to be the first person in my family to go to college. i’m determined to prove my father wrong.
this is my best friend, carly. she is one of the people that i am going to miss the most. she has helped me get through my time living with my father so much. i really could never thank her enough for always being there.
well, i’m leaving on friday instead of wednesday. we have a few small problems but everything should be okay. c: i took this picture this morning. i woke up smiling for once. it’s feels great to know everything is going to be okay. c:
just started packing for my big move on wednesday. freedom is so close i can almost taste it.
update. c:
well i haven’t been on tumblr in at least two weeks so i figured i would give an update. instead of leaving on my birthday (September 25th) i’m leaving on Wednesday! The movers are coming on Tuesday so it would just be easier. Hopefully I won’t get in trouble because i’ll still be 17 on Wednesday. We are going to drive 37 hours to Nevada. I’m really excited! i won’t be back on until next week probably unless she gets me an iphone before we start driving. I’ll let you all know how it goes and i’ll have pictures. c:
templesjuno-deactivated20120807 asked: okay thanks for following! usually when you see a tumblr is folowing you it's just loads of pretty pictures with no meaning, not yours though. Like everyone else I think you're so brave for dealing with what you do and I wish you luck :) People who put up with the crap you do deserve some love and happiness :)
no problem! thank you very much. c:
